The baby is crying, your chest is full, but you are determined to stop breastfeeding. There can be many reasons: it’s time to go to work, it’s time to send the child to kindergarten, health conditions, and even “I just decided so.”
Weaning can be a real test of strength for the whole family: there are cases when children completely refuse to give up breastfeeding and simply tyrannize their mother, almost tearing off her clothes. Is it possible to avoid problems along the way? How to make the process as comfortable as possible for mother and child? Parents.ru learned from an expert what mistakes mothers make when weaning their baby.
Tatyana Kuznetsova is a pediatrician, nephrologist, and breastfeeding consultant at the SM-Doctor clinic in Maryina Roshcha.
Tip 1: Breastfeed as much as you and your baby need
When it comes to breastfeeding, pediatricians are guided by domestic and global medical standards. The Russian Ministry of Health recommends continuing breastfeeding until two years after the birth of the child. At the same time, until the baby is six months old, breast milk should be the only product in the baby’s diet.
This strategy is also supported by WHO, emphasizing that breastfeeding can continue beyond 24 months.
Polina Lykova: “None of the above sources indicate that it is inappropriate or prohibited to continue breastfeeding after the child reaches a certain age. As well as the fact that breast milk becomes bad or harmful. Therefore, choosing the timing of breastfeeding is the prerogative of mother and child.”
Reviews #MAMAKO
mommyekb
Well... I planned to complete the war, gradually and tasty, but Nikulka decided that it was too early))) And, nevertheless, I want to share with you a review of one tasty and healthy product from @mamako.ru that Nikulka drinks with pleasure. This is “Milk with bifidobacteria MAMAKÓ® 3 Premium in goat milk.” I give it to Nikulka in the morning if she refuses to eat porridge or before bed. And also, pediatricians recommend giving it if there is a lack or absence of breast milk and upon completion of the guard. An important plus that all mothers will appreciate, the milk is enriched: ✔ Omega-6 and Omega-3. Very important and necessary acids for a growing organism, promoting the development of intelligence. ✔ Lutein, which protects the child’s eyes during the period of growth and vision formation. Lutein is not produced by the body, so the baby can only get it through diet. ✔ Prebiotics + probiotics restore the balance of microflora and normalize intestinal function. ✔ L-carnitine improves metabolism, promotes the absorption of fat and protein components of the mixture. ✔ The Ca+Fe+I complex helps prevent rickets and deficiency of iron and iodine microelements.
iv_diana
We are finishing the GW. Rodion is one year old. And by the year I immediately decided that we would complete the GW. Don’t throw slippers at me, with Mi I fed her until she was a year and 2 months old, I stopped only because I got pregnant. This time, the process itself began to develop in such a way that Rodion began to show less interest, only to sleep, and I was already physically exhausted from two pregnancies and births in a row! It’s good that Rodion has a good appetite. She eats with pleasure, and to help us I chose a milk drink from MAMAKO®️ Premium! It is created on the basis of goat milk especially for children from one to 3 years old! Contains prebiotics and bifidobacteria, is easily digestible and ensures the harmonious development of the baby. What is very important is that MAMAKO®️ Premium is the only goat milk mixture that contains an IQ complex with lutein for the development of the baby’s brain and vision! Let me tell you this - very cool! So we came to the smooth end of the guard, we only had breasts for sleep and at night! I don’t take any compresses or pills to finish it, it seems to me that it will go away on its own at a certain moment!⠀
Tip 2: Gradually end breastfeeding
Abruptly stopping breastfeeding can be traumatic for both mother and baby. If a nursing mother fails to stop feeding in a timely manner, milk stagnation may occur and an inflammatory process (mastitis) may begin, and the baby may experience great stress. Therefore, it is very important to complete breastfeeding as naturally as possible so that the milk “leaves” from the breast gradually.
First, replace feedings that occur erratically. As a rule, these are daytime attachments that are not associated with falling asleep. Then, when your baby can manage without them, remove feedings before naps and after waking up. Night feedings are usually the last to go.
Polina Lykova: “In fact, the gradual completion of breastfeeding begins with the introduction of complementary foods. By introducing a new food product into your child’s diet, you thus reduce the number of breastfeedings.”
Soft weaning. How to do this practically?
A lot has already been said about how beneficial feeding an older baby is, and that physiological weaning is a smooth and gradual weaning from the breast, and it’s rare that a mother has never heard of it. However, you often hear: “Yes, I understand everything, I’ve read a lot of things. I know that we need to gradually reduce attachments, that there should be no associated stress... but how exactly to do this? Where to begin?".
In this article, I want to dwell in detail on the methods and techniques that can help the mother smoothly complete feeding on her initiative.
IMPORTANT! Everything said below, with rare exceptions, begins to “work” for children over 1.5-2 years old!
1. Duration of feeding. History of the issue. Scientific evidence
Today, anthropologists agree that the average feeding period in non-industrial societies was 30 months (2.5 years). The boys were fed longer as a more “valuable frame” :-).
Review of studies of the life of 35 non-industrial communities before 1940. showed that at that time the average age at the end of breastfeeding was 2.8 years (Nelson EAS et al., 2000).
A comparison with other primates (as those closest to us physiologically), which took into account the ratio of pregnancy and lactation, change of teeth, the onset of puberty, and increase in body weight, led to the conclusion that the natural weaning time for a human baby is in the range from 2. 5 to 7 years old.
In Russia, a study conducted in Leningrad in 1938, based on data from children's consultations, showed that 87.7% of children continued to be fed a year, and 75% at 14-15 months.
...And then there was a war, and during the post-war reconstruction of the country, the value of a woman as a labor unit became much higher than her value as a mother. It was strategically important to return the young mother to the “working system” as quickly as possible. All recommendations about feeding according to a schedule, introducing complementary foods too early, and “empty” milk after a year come from there. It was such a time and it was apparently impossible to do it any other way...
From a physiological point of view, one of the factors confirming that nature provides for feeding a human baby with mother’s milk for several years is a change in the level of lactase, an enzyme that breaks down the main carbohydrate in milk, lactose. For all mammals, incl. and for humans, a decrease in lactase activity is typical when switching to an adult type of diet. In humans, a pronounced drop in lactase activity occurs by 3-5 years. It begins already at the end of the first year of life; in the preschool period its level is stable and after 5 years the decline is more pronounced.
It is good that modern official recommendations on the duration of feeding are increasingly closer to the process inherent in nature. Thus, WHO recommends maintaining breastfeeding for up to 2 years and longer if the mother and child mutually desire it, with the introduction of complementary feeding for about 6 months.
The Russian Union of Pediatricians in the National Program for Optimizing Feeding of Children in the First Year of Life calls for an age of 1.5 years with the introduction of complementary feeding no earlier than 4-6 months, which is great progress compared to the recommendations of the middle of the last century.
2. Self-exclusion. Does this happen?
Yes, this happens. This is the “gold standard” for completing breastfeeding :-).
In this case, the mother does not take any steps to reduce feeding, but only organizes the feeding process in such a way that it does not cause discomfort (for example, limits feeding in crowded places, sets boundaries for what is permitted in handling the breast, etc.).
The best tactic in this case is “don’t offer and don’t refuse.”
As a rule, true self-weaning occurs no earlier than 3-3.5 years. Sometimes feedings disappear on their own. The child is applied 1-2 times a day, then once a day. After some time - once every 2-3 days. And one day my mother remembers that she hasn’t breastfed for a couple of weeks.
And it also happens that the child himself, solely on his own initiative, finishes feeding at a certain moment with the wording: “I’m already big, I don’t need any more milk” or something like that.
3. Soft weaning initiated by mother
Yes, sometimes (very rarely!) an abrupt separation is necessary due to life circumstances, but this is an emergency, and in this article we will talk about how to go through this path as comfortably as possible for mother and baby.
General recommendations.
1. It is very important that the baby is healthy at the time of weaning, he is not teething, and there have been no stressful situations in the recent past (starting kindergarten, moving, changes in family composition, etc.).
2. In terms of timing, everything is very individual, for some the whole process takes 2-3 weeks, for others a couple of months, and for others they get stuck at a certain stage for a year, and these one or two feedings a day turn out to be extremely important for the baby at a certain period of development, despite the fact that he easily abandoned all the others. It all depends on the age of the child and the individual characteristics of the nervous system. Say "No!" specific date, don’t set yourself deadlines!
3. We remove feedings gradually, one at a time, and move on to working on the next stage only when the baby consistently does not remember the feeding that was removed for several days. We don’t expect immediate results; we set ourselves up for a long, leisurely process.
4. During this period, tactile contact with the mother is especially important for the child, the feeling that “mom is nearby, mother is still with me and everything is as good as before, even without the breast.” Spend as much time as possible with your child, play, communicate, do something interesting together.
5. Your calmness, consistency, belief in the correctness and necessity of action are the key factors on the way to a comfortable completion of feeding for both of you. The child very sensitively reads the emotional state of the mother, and if the mother is not sure of the correctness of her actions or that everything will turn out the way she wants, then, most likely, the child will react accordingly.
Which should be cause for concern.
The listed signs may indicate that you are forcing things too much, the child is not ready for weaning at such a pace:
- became anxious, capricious, hysterical “out of nowhere”,
- “hangs” on the chest, clings with a “death grip” and does not leave mom one step,
- sleeps poorly, does not let go of mom and breast all night, categorically refuses to fall asleep without mom and breast, even if such an experience was successful before,
- sucks fingers, toys, lips, etc.,
- any other alarming, atypical moments in the child’s behavior.
At any stage, the child’s behavior is the main indicator that everything is going well.
Unfortunately, there are often situations when a mother describes the weaning process something like this: “everything was wonderful - I decided to wean - I started cutting back on breastfeeding and refused to breastfeed - the child became nervous, capricious, grabbed the breast with a death grip - everything is bad, it’s GW’s fault, it was necessary excommunicate earlier."
It is not breastfeeding that is to blame, but the too rapid reduction in feedings and the restless state of the mother, uncertainty about the correctness of her actions. Ideally, with a smooth weaning, the child does not understand until the very last attachment that the mother, on her own initiative, forced events :-).
But even if weaning is very slow and gradual, and the child still resists it with all his might, it means he is really not ready yet, and he still really needs the breast. Wait a month and a half and try again.
Well, you need to remember that in a state of stress/illness/sharp change in the usual way of life, regressions and a strong rollback are possible, since during such periods the mother’s breast is an ideal way to calm down, relieve stress and gain strength to overcome a difficult stage. You should not deny your baby this wonderful “medicine”.
A separate line indicates the mother’s intention to wean a one-year-old or slightly older child for the following reasons:
- he hardly eats “adult food”,
- he doesn’t sleep well at night, - he’s too attached to me, he can’t leave me with anyone,
- there are days and even weeks when he hangs on my chest like a baby, I’m very tired, I don’t want to do this anymore.
All of the above is directly related to the maturation of the baby’s nervous system, discomfort during illness or teething, developmental leaps or the formation of food interest, the general fatigue of the mother, but nothing to breastfeeding.
Moreover, during this difficult period, GW is your indispensable assistant!
Very often you hear stories like this: “Well, I weaned the child... but it didn’t get any easier... I’m just as tired, I also lack communication, I don’t have any time for myself... only if it was possible to breastfeed before, and the child was sleeping, now the process of putting him to bed has turned into a two-hour marathon of reading-singing-rocking-peeing-putting the hare to bed-pooping-drinking-peeing again... and at night he wakes up the same way, only now instead of breastfeeding and continuing to sleep , you have to jump around the apartment for 30 minutes to rock him to sleep... and he eats just as little and very selectively... maybe he shouldn’t have weaned him off yet?”
And another very common reason in our country: “everyone around is saying that it’s time to get big.”
This is a feature of our society: every person has some kind of profession, but at the same time almost everyone considers themselves great experts in breastfeeding issues. So big that they consider it acceptable to express their opinions, often in an aggressive manner, and give advice to their mother, who did not ask about them.
The question of when and how to stop breastfeeding concerns only 2 people - you and your baby. All! The pope has the right to an advisory vote. No one else has the right to impose their opinion on you and influence, especially aggressively, your decision.
4. What should you never do to finish breastfeeding?
1. “Bandage the chest.” Tightening the breasts does not in any way affect the amount of milk produced, but it can easily provoke stagnation and inflammation in the compressed breasts.
2. Leave for a few days so that the child can “wean off the breast.” The end of breastfeeding is in itself a difficult time for the baby. Think about it, all his life he received milk from his mother’s breast. He doesn’t yet know what could be done differently. And here, not only is there no breast, but the mother has suddenly disappeared somewhere. During this period, your support is more important than ever for the baby, a lot, a lot of attention and contact, the feeling that “mom is nearby, mom is still with me and everything is as good as before, even without breasts.”
3. Apply something repulsive to your breasts. Firstly, a bitter or pungent substance can burn delicate mucous membranes. Secondly, in relation to a child, this is simply a betrayal. Well, it’s the same as if a person whom you trust and love immensely, at a difficult moment, instead of supporting you, simply pushes you away and says that he has no time for you. This is a very strong stress, the consequences of which can manifest itself in adulthood.
4. Worry, be very nervous, blame yourself. A calm, consistent mother who is confident in the correctness of her actions is the best way you can support your baby and make the weaning process as comfortable as possible for him.
5. Preparatory stage. Setting boundaries
Weaning begins much earlier than your conscious desire to complete feeding. From the very first breastfeeding, you need to remember that the breast is the mother’s, and only the mother decides what is permissible to do with it and what is not.
The first months. Gently but persistently we stop attempts to twist the nipple (we remove and hold our hands, offer a replacement, for example, large bright beads), pull the breast into the mouth “like noodles”, let go without unclenching the gums, bite (we carefully take the breast, we say “you can’t do that, it hurts mom,” we give it again), unbutton/pull off mom’s clothes, exposing her breasts (we remove our hands, say: “mom herself will give the breast, mom’s breasts, we don’t undress mom,” unbutton the clothes and give the breast). And so time after time.
Over 6 months old. You can start SOMETIMES, once every few days, limit the time of sucking or give the breast not immediately. Clear, understandable explanations and actions of the mother are very important: “now I’ll wash this plate, then the breast”, “now we’ll finish (you gently take the breast from the baby when he has already eaten well and is not actively sucking), because I need to take these clothes in the closet”, etc.
At first, these delays are symbolic (literally a couple of seconds), it is important that the child sometimes hears the mother’s request to wait, and that this request is not associated with negative emotions (and this will not happen if the breast is delivered almost immediately and the waiting time increases very gradually from month to month by month).
Over a year old. If the previous stages are completed successfully, then by this age it is self-evident for the child that the breast is given to him by his mother upon request and sometimes not immediately or is taken away before he himself lets go.
Now you can try to negotiate. “We will drink milk when we return from our walk at home,” “let’s always drink milk only on this chair,” etc. That is, gradually introduce clear restrictions on places where feeding is possible and places or situations where it is unacceptable for you.
Also during this period, it would be good to tell the baby (even if he doesn’t speak yet) that if he wants to attach to the breast, then he needs to say, for example: “Mom, I want milk.” Then after a while you will not find yourself in a situation where the baby is all shopping :-).
Of course, any restrictions and agreements become invalid in emergency situations: very tired, hit, scared, etc.
6. Soft weaning process
6.1 A few weeks before starting to reduce attachments
You can start very gently, as if by chance (in no case edifyingly or with reproaches!) saying to the baby under appropriate circumstances: “How big you are, how many delicious things you eat, but look - absolutely Lala, can you imagine, there’s nothing but milk eating. And he doesn’t know how to walk, or run, or play with blocks...etc.”
The point is to create the idea that breasts are for “helpless babies.”
Or “But here is a swing/slide/ladder for older children, for those who no longer drink mother’s milk, they no longer need it.”
You can use fairy tale therapy and come up with a fairy tale about a boy or girl (the child should see a clear analogy with himself) to whom something very good happens, who is loved by mom and dad, and who no longer drinks milk.
At the same time, it is VERY important that this is not intrusive; in no case do we focus attention on the fact that the hero “does not drink milk”; on the contrary, this information is given in passing.
The goal is to sow in the mind the first thoughts that you can live (live well!) not only with your mother’s breast.
Under no circumstances should sucking the breast be given a negative connotation or the baby should be shamed for asking for the breast. The child is simply not able to understand the logic of his mother’s actions: all his life, suckling the breast was good, his mother was happy and encouraged it in every possible way, and now suddenly for some reason it has become bad. This will cause a feeling of anxiety, misunderstanding and, in order to relieve stress and make sure that everything is fine, the baby will most likely, on the contrary, “hang” on the chest.
6.2 We begin soft weaning. Removing chaotic feedings / daytime feedings
1. You can start by observing for several days and trying to understand which feedings are least important for the baby, and he can quite easily refuse them. As a rule, these are chaotic daytime feedings out of boredom.
Here you will have to work hard and efficiently process the day: go for a walk, visit, entertain and distract, in general, organize the day so that the child simply does not have time for long feedings.
2. Try not to provoke the baby to latch on: do not sit for a long time (for example, talk on the phone), do not change clothes when the baby sees you, try in every possible way to avoid situations that the baby associates with feeding.
3. Now, not sometimes, but quite often, we try to delay the start of application: “I’ll do this, then.” The action, as before, must be specific and understandable to the child. You can not just talk about what you need to do, but actively involve your child in the matter and ask for help. If it works, good. Sometimes a child simply forgets about his request during a joint activity. Amazing! If the child really insists, you need to give in, which means he really needs the breast now.
4. You can try to limit the time of sucking: “we eat while I count to 5-10-15”, “we eat while this song is playing”, etc.
5. You can come up with a special “feeding place” at home (sofa, chair, etc.) and feed only there. This will allow us to quickly eliminate the “running past mom” attachments, since at home we now feed strictly in a certain place.
The result of this stage is a reduction in daily feedings to 1-2 or their complete disappearance. The duration of the stage is from a couple of weeks to several months, depending on the age and individual characteristics of the child.
The further sequence is very individual. Most often, it is possible to remove feedings immediately after waking up, then for daytime/nighttime sleep, and the last to go are night feedings. But there is also a completely different order. Each child is individual. Try different options.
6.3 Stop feeding immediately after waking up
To avoid feedings when waking up, the mother should not be around when the baby wakes up. And when your baby finds you, distract him with something interesting or tasty. Don’t expect instant results; to begin with, you can simply breastfeed not immediately, but after a couple of minutes.
One mother left some kind of treat (orange, cookies, peach, etc.) on the kitchen table every evening (after the child fell asleep) and every morning, before the child had time to ask for the breast, she began to enthusiastically discuss with him what kind of treat it was. a surprise awaits them today. A few days later, the baby ran into the kitchen on his own, barely opening his eyes.
Some children get very upset if they wake up alone. In this case, try to wake up a little earlier than the child and, as soon as he wakes up, immediately involve him in some interesting activity. For example: “let’s count how many cars are parked under the window”, “let’s run to the kitchen, there’s a delicious surprise”, “let me give you a morning massage”, etc.
6.4 We remove feeding for falling asleep
Don't expect instant results. Be prepared for regressions. One step forward, two steps back. For some it is easier to start falling asleep without breastfeeding during the day, for others - during the night. Focus on the child.
You need to be prepared for the fact that naps may move to a later time or disappear altogether (especially in children closer to 2 years of age). In this case, you can try to organize getting up in the morning an hour and a half earlier for the period of adaptation.
If it is possible to involve relatives in the styling, this may be useful, but not necessary.
Mom puts her to bed.
1. A good place to start is by creating a clear ritual that is repeated day after day and helps your baby calm down and relax before bed. For example: dinner - toilet - wash - brush your teeth - read a fairy tale (it’s better if it’s the same not very long fairy tale that you don’t read at other times) - chest - sleep.
You can lengthen and add new details to the ritual of falling asleep (song, stroking the back, light massage, holding a hand, etc.). See what your baby likes most and what calms him down.
The important thing here is that from now on, play and breastfeeding never happen at the same time.
At this stage, the mother’s goal is for the child to get used to the fact that before going to bed you can not only suck the breast, but also listen to something interesting, or that the mother can pet him, hug him, and that you can fall asleep without a breast in your mouth. If in the middle of a fairy tale or song the child asks for the breast, then the fairy tale stops and after that the breast is “given out” with the proviso that you will finish reading after he has eaten.
When the ritual has become a habit, you can try to limit the time of sucking and not wait for the baby to fall asleep with the breast. For example, you read a fairy tale, then fed the breast, and then you offer something else that the baby really likes (pat the back, give a light massage, hold the hand, sing a lullaby, etc.). I agreed - great. If you refuse, we don’t insist, but we continue to calmly offer it every day. After a while, the baby will sometimes fall asleep without a breast in his mouth.
When you can consistently feed a little, then sing/read/stroke, and the baby falls asleep, you can begin to “forget” to breastfeed for sleep - that is, immediately move on to other methods of calming.
If at any stage the baby protests and does not agree to anything other than the breast, do not insist, it means that he is really not ready yet. Leave everything at the stage you are currently at and try again in 2-3 weeks.
2. Another option could be to lengthen the mother’s absence: You put the child to bed as usual, carry out all the pleasant “pre-sleep” rituals, and then remember out loud about some important matter and promise to return now. The initial care time can be 20-30 seconds, then the mother returns and puts the baby down as always. Gradually, mom is absent longer and longer. The main thing is that the mother needs to be told why she is leaving, and if the child goes to look for her, he must find the mother doing this very activity (for example, making tea or washing a plate). In this case, the mother does not get angry with the baby, but simply finishes her job and returns the baby to the crib, asking her to wait for her there next time. At some point, upon returning, the mother will see the child sleeping peacefully :-).
3. “Counting lambs.” We agree with the baby on the duration of sucking (for example, while I count to 20, while 10 lambs are running, etc.). After that, offer any other favorite action. Periodically reduce the number of “lambs” by figuring out where they could have gone. And so on until the last “lamb” disappears.
4. For some, the option of offering the breast before going to bed is not in the bed, but in another place (in another room, on a chair, etc.). Before breastfeeding, we say that “You will eat, and then we will go to bed, and I will sit with you/sing a song/hold your hand, etc.” If in the first days the baby asks for the breast in the crib, remind him of the agreement; if he insists, give it, but try to reduce the attachment to “symbolic”, limiting the time of sucking in the ways described above.
5. Some mothers choose the option of rocking their children in a stroller (after sucking before bedtime), and then transferring them to a crib. This usually works with younger kids.
6. For some mothers, this option works: “let’s lie in a hug, your back is to me, and I’ll hug you” or “let’s lie back to back.” This should be offered first during the day, when the child is calm and cheerful, in the form of a game. The child feels good and calm: his mother is nearby, his mother hugs him, he feels his mother, but at the same time does not “bury” his face in the chest. When a child likes to rest like this during the day, you can offer to lie down like this before bed. At some point, the child may fall asleep in an embrace with his mother, listening to her whispering and humming.
7. “Mom is sleeping.” There are children for whom any rituals only amuse and do not help, but on the contrary, prevent them from falling asleep. Many mothers say that sometimes it helps to simply lie down next to a tired baby (after feeding) and “fall asleep.” The child is calm next to you, but bored; as a rule, this is enough to make the tired baby tired. If the child is actively trying to involve you in the game, you can sleepily mutter something like: “Baby, I’m very tired and want to sleep, and you go to sleep.” At the same time, it is necessary to provide the baby with access to everything he may need: water, a potty, etc.
Ideally, during the adaptation period, all family members should also “fall asleep” at this time.
Another loved one lays it down.
This almost always works well with children over 1.5 or even 2 years old.
It is very important that the person who will put the child to bed is familiar to him.
It’s good if by the time dad or grandma puts the baby to bed, the evening rituals before bedtime have already been practiced.
The mother must prepare the child in advance, talk to him several times that she needs to leave, and dad/grandmother/... You can directly discuss with the baby step by step what and with whom he will do before bed. Be sure to say that when he wakes up, his mother will be there.
Both the mother and the person who will put the baby to bed must be absolutely calm and confident that everything will work out. If someone has doubts, uncertainty, fear, the child will almost certainly not fall asleep and will also panic and be nervous.
The mother must definitely leave, calmly say goodbye to the child, and clearly say when she will return. No need to sit in the next room.
Then there are two options.
1. The assistant exactly repeats the established ritual, excluding the stage of applying to the breast. Instead, you can offer water or a light snack.
2. If the relationship with the child is very close and trusting, and some peculiarities of communication have already developed (for example, there is a favorite fairy tale, song, calm game), then you can use them.
6.5 Eliminate night feedings
If the mother acted confidently and without haste, then after this the baby himself will begin to latch on to the breast less often at night. And, conversely, if the mother unnecessarily forced things, then the number of nightly attachments may increase, the baby will “hang” on the chest, getting at night what he did not receive during the day. In this case, it is better to stop there or even go back a little and wait 2-3 weeks before taking the next steps.
There are children who are delayed for several months or even years at the last stage of 1-2 night feedings, and these feedings are very important for them. And some people easily give up their last night feeding literally within a week.
Ideas for reducing night feedings.
1. Create a sleep-friendly environment in your bedroom. Too dry and hot air can provoke restless sleep and frequent awakenings.
2. First, you need to take the breast from the baby if he, having eaten, quietly sucks on it in his sleep and does not wake up from trying to take it.
3. If the baby does not agree to let go of the breast, you can try this option: when the baby is not actively sucking, we carefully remove the breast. If he starts looking, we calmly return him, not allowing the baby to become very nervous and finally wake up. We count slowly to 10 and pick it up again. And so on up to 10-15 times. As a rule, after several nights, the baby begins to calmly let go of the breast the first time. The point is that the logical chain is broken: “I suck - I feel comfortable - I fall asleep,” since it does not become comfortable due to the fact that the breast is being taken away all the time.
4. Every time the baby wakes up, you can ask him not to suckle for a long time and after a few minutes remind him of your request and gently take the breast, offering to stroke it, hold the hand, etc. 5. You can start by giving the baby additional tactile and/or sound stimulation in parallel with sucking: “hissing,” humming, stroking, gently patting, holding hands, etc. (choose what calms you best). And try this periodically before breastfeeding. If the child does not fall asleep, then we give the breast, continuing to soothe in another way. Gradually, the baby will sometimes begin to fall asleep only from stroking, without ever latching onto the breast.
6. Some babies agree to drink water at night after or instead of breastfeeding for a short time.
7. Just say “no!” All children are different and for some this option is optimal. This usually works for children after 2 years of age. The main thing is to speak calmly, but firmly and confidently. What else can help?
8. If you sleep together, try increasing the distance between you at night. You can organize an additional sleeping surface (for example, move the crib close to your bed, having first removed the side). In itself, increasing the distance between you can already contribute to fewer times the baby wakes up.
But here it is important to understand that everything is good in moderation. Abruptly "evicting" a child into his own crib or even into a separate room will most likely have the opposite effect if the child is not yet ready to sleep alone. So we are talking about a small increase in distance, and not about drastic measures.
9. With your husband’s consent, try putting the baby to sleep on his side. The baby will not ask dad for the breast and may agree to a back rub or a glass of water. Of course, at first, the baby will need to be breastfed at some point, but he can easily sleep with dad for most of the night.
10. Remove the breast from easy access. Wear a closed T-shirt at night. Sometimes, if the baby can't find the nipple quickly, he may just go back to sleep.
Of course, at this stage you don’t need to be too persistent - if you see that attempts to teach your child to do without sucking the breast at night significantly increase the intervals of wakefulness during night awakenings, and the baby is clearly not ready for the complete abolition of night feedings, do not insist, give the breast baby. After some time, the baby will be able to fall asleep without the breast better.
6.6 Reducing night feedings without weaning
There are often situations when the mother does not intend to completely wean the baby in the near future, but is very tired of the large number of night feedings and wants to reduce them.
First of all, the main thing to remember is that it is completely natural for a child to wake up several times during the night. Any child, regardless of the type of feeding, up to 3-4 years old can sleep without a break for no more than 6 hours, and most often 4-5 hours. Uninterrupted sleep for 8-10 hours, as adults often expect, is simply not the physiological norm.
Babies have different rhythms of shallow and deep sleep: in an adult, the duration of shallow sleep is about 20% of the total sleep time, and in a newborn - 80%. A six-month-old baby is in shallow sleep 50% of the total sleep time, and a two- to three-year-old is about 30%. This is physiologically justified: it is in shallow sleep that the brain actively develops.
But still, it is quite possible to slightly reduce and streamline night feedings without harm to the baby. In this case, the following techniques (in addition to the previous ones) can help.
1. Increase the number of daily feedings. After one year of age, children are very active; during the day they often forget about their breasts while doing other interesting activities. But the need for sucking and contact with the mother is still very great, and at night the baby “gets his way.” More frequent breastfeeding during the day, initiated by the mother, may make the breast less desirable at night.
2. Increase the number of tactile contacts and time spent together during the day. Carry the baby in a sling or otherwise have more physical contact with the baby. As your baby gets older, you can automatically increase your distance dramatically without even realizing it. Frequent nighttime latching may mean that at this stage the baby needs less “freedom” than the mother provides him.
3. Wake up and feed the child well before you fall asleep. Instead of going to bed and then waking up again an hour or two later to feed, feed your baby before you go to bed. This way, you're likely to be woken up one less time and have one long period of uninterrupted sleep.
4. You can program your baby before bed. When you put your baby to bed, the last thing he should hear is: “Mommy will sleep, daddy will sleep, baby will sleep, and the breast will sleep.” When a child wakes up at night, the first thing he should hear is a gentle reminder: “The chest is sleeping, mom is sleeping and you are sleeping. I’ll feed you when it’s light.” This program may take a week or two to repeat, but soon your baby will get used to the idea that day is for feeding and night is for sleeping.
7. Your health during the weaning period
If weaning proceeded smoothly and gradually, then you most likely will not need any additional manipulations with the breast. It’s just that less and less milk will be produced in response to a reduction in breastfeeding, and at the time of the last feeding, literally drops will remain in the chest.
Involution processes begin in the chest, and the volume of glandular tissue decreases. Breasts may become slightly smaller than they were before pregnancy.
If the weaning was smooth, then within about a year the breast shape will most likely return to its “pre-pregnancy” state (this greatly depends on the individual characteristics of the woman).
It is believed that the breast has finally become non-lactating 40 days after the last application.
At the same time, when pressed, drops of milk may be released for several months or even years. This is fine!
Spontaneous leakage of milk 3-6 months after the end of feeding should alert you. In this case, it is better to consult a doctor (mammologist, endocrinologist).
What to do if, for some reason, weaning occurs faster than the mother’s breasts have time to rebuild and reduce milk production?
1. Carefully monitor the fullness of your breasts and, if necessary, pump until you feel relief. It is better to strain into a measuring container and make sure that the amount expressed does not increase, but decreases, day by day. This milk can be offered to the baby from a cup.
2. After pumping, you can apply a cold compress: cold cabbage leaves (you need to wash them first and beat them a little or pierce them in several places with a fork); a towel soaked in cold water.
3. Some mothers note that herbal infusions: mint or sage help reduce lactation.
4. During the weaning period, try not to drink hot drinks (they provoke a rush of milk); it is better to give preference to liquid at room temperature. For the same reason, avoid any mechanical stimulation of the breasts (for example, shower, etc.).
5. If you know that a particular food or drink causes a rush or increases your milk supply, avoid it during weaning. If a hot flash does occur and your breasts become full to the point of discomfort, pump until you feel relief, then apply a cold compress.
Melnikova Rada, breastfeeding consultant
Sources:
1. I. Ryukhova “Your baby is older than a year”, Moscow, publishing house Resurs, 2014
2. W. Sears, M. Sears “Breastfeeding”
3. National program for optimizing feeding of children in the first year of life. Moscow, 2009 (ed. 2011)
4. WHO “Counseling on infant and young child feeding”, 2006 https://apps.who.int/iris/bitstream/10665/43567/9/9789241594752_rus.pdf
5. Reducing night feedings https://akev.ru/content/view/351/30
6. O. Evtukh “Weaning” https://www.akev.ru/content/view/439/151/
7. K. Detweiler “Does the child sleep all night?” https://omama.ru/docs/tpl/doc.asp?id=153&tid=639
8. K. Detwiler “Natural age of weaning” https://omama.ru/docs/tpl/doc.asp?id=115&tid=637
9. I. Shapovalova “How to teach a baby to fall asleep without a breast?” https://mama-city.ru/index.php/component/content/article/108-articles/bf/gv-ending/97-zasypaniee
10. N. Gerbeda-Wilson “How to stop feeding? Practical guide" https://www.llli.org/russian/oa/weaning.html
11. O. Dzvonar “TEST: is your baby ready for weaning?” https://www.akev.ru/content/view/54/52/
12. I. Ryukhova “Breastfeeding a baby in the second year of life” https://www.new-degree.ru/articles/mother/posle_goda
13. Working protocol for the diagnosis and treatment of lactase deficiency in children. Yu.G. Mukhina, A.I. Chubarova and others (Russian State Medical University, Moscow), T.E. Borovik, E.A. Roslavtseva and others (Scientific Center for Children's Health of the Russian Academy of Medical Sciences, Moscow).
Tip 3: Choose the right moment
Mother and baby should be ready to stop breastfeeding. How to determine this? The baby actively eats “adult” food, can calm down not only at the breast and remains with other adults without problems, and daytime feedings become irregular. At the same time, the nursing mother’s breasts do not become full between feedings, and she realizes that the baby does not need breasts and milk as much as before.
Polina Lykova: “But if the situation is the opposite - the mother’s breasts become full between feedings, and the baby can only calm down if he is attached to the breast, and does not fall asleep without it - then it is too early to talk about the end of lactation. In addition, it is better to postpone the process of ending breastfeeding if the child is sick, the mother has problems with the breasts - mastitis and lactostasis are easier to tolerate if breastfeeding is continued - or serious changes are coming in the child’s life - for example, moving, first travel, training to the potty. Completion is a difficult period, there is no need to aggravate it with additional trials.”
At what age is it better to wean
There is no clear period when a mother should stop offering milk to her baby.
For the first six months of life, mother's milk is the main source of nutrients. Until one year of age, complementary foods cannot replace milk. If you refuse to feed during this period, you will have to switch the baby to formula.
It is important to note that milk production directly depends on the number of latch. You should gradually reduce the number of feedings, removing first the daytime ones, then the nighttime ones.
During this period, you should not deprive the child of his mother’s attention. He must understand that his mother still loves him and is nearby.
Tip 5: Do not use questionable methods to complete lactation
Under no circumstances use “grandmother’s” methods to stop lactation: do not tighten your breasts. This injures the glandular tissue and provokes mastitis. You should not limit yourself to food and drink while breastfeeding is over. Such a diet will bring nothing but exhaustion and the risk of lactostasis.
Polina Lykova: “In addition, it is not recommended to take special drugs that suppress lactation. They interfere with hormone production and can negatively impact subsequent lactation and maternal health.”
Complications when stopping breastfeeding
If a woman suddenly stops feeding her baby, breast milk may accumulate and stagnate. The result of this is inflammation in one or both mammary glands.
Its symptoms:
- breast pain;
- engorgement of the lobes;
- increased temperature in the chest or in the body in general.
If this happens, you need to immediately contact a mammologist. He will help you pump your breasts, prescribe treatment and tell you how to stop feeding correctly.
Tip 6: Give your child maximum attention
When completing lactation, try to give your baby as much attention as possible. With your affection and love, you will show that stopping breastfeeding will not change the relationship between you. After all, breasts for a baby are not only a source of nutrition, but also a way to calm down, feel needed and loved.
Polina Lykova: “It is also undesirable, in order to complete lactation as quickly as possible, to hand over the child to grandmothers for a while or go away yourself, tell a story about a “sick” breast (smearing it with brilliant green, etc.), and also make fun of the child, comparing him with other children. By doing this you can frighten him and violate his trust.”
Advantages of calling Virilis Group specialists to your home
- Travel to any area of the city and region without restrictions.
- No insurance, registration or citizenship is required to receive medical care.
- Providing assistance to children of any age.
- Experience in responsible treatment of children in St. Petersburg since 1991.
- 6 own children's medical centers with 650 specialists in 49 specialties.
- Possibility of diagnostics and continuation of treatment in our clinics.
- Coordination with other doctors of the VIRILIS Group of Companies clinics: we are a single team, and not individual doctors from a “mobile” clinic.
- 24/7 contact center.
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- Possibility of purchasing a package of a comprehensive medical program for a child, including the “Emergency Care” and “Comprehensive Examination at Home” packages.
- Special medical programs for newborns and infants.
Tip 8: If feeding needs to be completed urgently, act delicately
It happens that a mother urgently needs to wean her baby from the breast. This may be due to pregnancy, forced long separation of mother and child, illness or treatment of the mother that is incompatible with breastfeeding. In this case, lactation must be stopped abruptly.
How to proceed? Express breasts when full until soft or relieved, but not completely. With each new pumping, milk will leave the breast. This will help avoid lactostasis and mastitis in the mother.
At this time, it is better to transfer the child to artificial feeding or give him expressed milk from a bottle, or finally transfer him to adult food.
During the completion of lactation, it is very important for the mother to demonstrate confidence in her actions, because a positive attitude is half the success!
Create favorable conditions
To make it easier for the child to survive this period, the mother should thoroughly prepare and organize favorable conditions. This is about:
- introduction of complementary foods according to the recommendations of pediatricians;
- feeding only at set times, offering breast milk after the main meal;
- putting the baby to sleep without breastfeeding;
- an offer to calm down without a breast, learning new ways to interact with mom.
Only after mastering these skills can you begin weaning.
It’s better to start with daytime feedings; it’s much easier to wind them down. You can distract your baby with new games and learn to recognize needs. You should also offer your child food before he gets hungry. To get rid of the “feeding-sleep” connection, you can temporarily invite other family members to put the baby to bed.
A hearty dinner will help eliminate night feedings. If the child wakes up, you can offer him some water instead of milk. You should not feed in bed; for feeding it is better to choose positions that are uncomfortable for the baby.
During this period, it is important to provide tactile contact.
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